Spite Is A Good Motivator
by Scintilla-Ish
Summary: When a certified smartass, coincidentally also a certified criminal, gets reborn as Sarada's elder sister, she's so angry with her new placement that she cries herself to sleep for a week straight before deciding to ruin everything the Boruto plot stands for. SI!OC-as-Sarada's-elder-sister.
1. Prologue

*non-canon-compliant fic over here. i haven't read boruto outside of the articles google keeps recommending to me.

**so far i'm doing this on mobile because test run so formatting gets pretty stupid.

***i feel like someone should've predicted that this would happen sooner or later.

* * *

**i lived for the rush (died for it too)**

**prologue**

* * *

When she died, it had been a blur.

Her mission was complete, the explosives planted, it was time to go.

She'd been ready to walk away unscathed, cool guy sunglasses on with an imaginary badass OST playing in the back of her mind, just as she always did as the saboteur on these sorts of missions.

Then, a boom. Glass shattering, heat at her back, screams, and agony.

She blacked out after that.

Stuck in this limbo, laying spread eagle, staring blankly at the void and feeling it stare back, she was hoping the mission had been a success. That she had only been an unfortunate casualty.

More than likely, it would be correct of her to assume that— even if she'd died, the explosives were already in position, it would've brought down the building and the ship anyway. Damn, her group would be hard pressed to find a badass like her anytime soon though.

Aw, her group... Now she was hoping they cried like babies at her funeral. They better wear those furry suits she picked out specially for them, if they didn't she would find out and personally dig herself out to make them strip and put on those fucking suits.

..She's no master of self deception, she got anxious just telling a little white lie. She'd never been good at lying to herself either.

So, she quickly accepted the fact that she probably died and that her mates were probably sobbing themselves raw as they made her a grave.

Probably.

Most likely.

...Definitely.

Man, if she knew she'd be the first to go she would've... still joined to spit on the government actually. She hoped her last word was "Finally." considering how long she's made clear that Death was her calling. She couldn't really remember much.

Though if she'd known being stuck in limbo was the hell chosen for her she would've thrown a fit.

Like some sort of cue was made, she felt something distant, faded, a maw opening and squeezing around her.

_If I was assigned reincarnation by whatever being is up there, I'm really really hoping that's not a vagina I'm feeling._ She thought with a quiet sort of horror.

* * *

Wet. It's so wet. And slimey. What the fuck.

Only a blinding light was made clear to her, making her shut her eyes tight and hope that wasn't the sun she just stared at for 5 seconds.

Crying. A baby's crying. Oh my god, where are your parents? Your caretakers? Why— with a sudden jolt as she felt something cold wash over her, she felt mortified and confused to realize that the crying baby sounded way too close for it to be from anyone but herself.

_Am I fucking baby—?_

* * *

Sakura stared on in a dazed wonder, tracing a finger around her baby's face. Softly pressing on her baby's cheeks. Smoothing over the few hairs she had on her bare head.

_Her baby. Her daughter._

The new mother felt something like pride and affection rise in her, like a switch was flipped, the very same thing that she'd witnessed with her patients— the mothers with their babies, throughout the years. She'd seen them, seen the tired look in their eyes after exhausting labor suddenly be replaced with a mother's unconditional love, wonder and amazement.

She wondered if she looked like that too, if someone could see the love she felt for this baby, her daughter.

Despite being exhausted beyond belief, her sight hasn't diminished in the slightest. Sakura could see that her baby, newlyborn as she was, wasn't the cutest thing to look at right now, but something just made her want to coo and go 'aww' over this tiny red-faced being.

She couldn't wait for Sasuke to come home and stare him straight in the eyes as she brandished this little bean.

Well— she thought as she looked up from her admiring, hearing the door swing open, revealing a giddy Naruto and the rest of their batch; _Maybe I'll do that when I'm fully rested._


	2. Chapter 1

_*burrito? yum. no burrito to be seen here tho._  
_**declaration of independence from canon plotline._  
_***chapters 1-4 are lowkey slow but also a bit quick because baby years - idk dude i guess it'd be what you call a normal pace if you mix it together but at the same time i have no clue_

* * *

Five months. I don't remember where I read it, but babies become conscious— aware, around as early as five months.

Basing my assumption on that, I'd say that it's been a little over five months since I've been born. I didn't wake up for awhile, at least not with a presence of mind— considering how the woman taking care of me didn't seem to be acting weirdly because of my seemingly wrongly presumed vegetable state during those first five months, but when I did, it was to something hanging in my face.

I cried.

Obviously. You have no idea how many times I've had nightmares that involved waking up or turning around having something right in your face with no sound or warning whatsoever.

I don't like being startled.

The lady who was taking care of me was smoothing a hand over my back, which I didn't like, because having something at your back is always dangerous, but I eventually calmed down enough to question what sort of bullshit my mind just came up with.

Did I somehow get my hands on LSD or something? Do they even exist in the void I'd been in? Do they exist _here?_

Because unless I was mistaken, which I almost never was ever since I joined my previous life's group, that was Uchiha Sasuke right there.

That person, standing behind the lady who still had me in her arms, in the doorway, bangs already growing to cover his purple eye, was Uchiha Sasuke.

_Perhaps a dedicated cosplayer..? _I thought with not much hope. That was an actual sword by his hip, he had none of the makeup that most cosplayers used even though he looked pretty as sin, and he really was missing an arm.

...Why is Uchiha Sasuke in the doorway?

Uchiha Sasuke is in the doorway!

Hold up, he hasn't even attacked yet, so the lady couldn't be a target of some sort, and he wasn't wearing his cloak, so that would mean he's (somewhat) off duty. He's looking at us funny. Is the lady someone he knows then? I turned my head to see if I could catch a proper glimpse of the lady still holding me.

And somehow, all this time she'd been talking to Uchiha Sasuke who is still in the doorway.

That means I need to fix my awareness then.

Red hair. Bright red hair. This lady has bright red hair. It would look like it was dyed or it was a wig, but it has none of the somewhat coarse look and texture that those things had. Doesn't smell like it either. It's natural? Apparently.

I turned my eyes back to Uchiha Sasuke, and realized that I couldn't understand a thing about their conversation. It sounded like he was giving short answers though, and I blinked when the lady shifted, causing her red hair to block my view of him.

If Uchiha Sasuke was here, who's the red haired lady?

I furrowed my eyebrows. Listening to them made the long ago buried fan of anime in me stir.

_Wouldn't that be Karin?_

Right. That would explain the red hair then. She's an Uzumaki. I batted said hair away from my face, and she turned her head towards me. Surprisingly, it wasn't that odd seeing actual red irises. I stared right at her, and ended up with my gaze back on the man with us.

Her lips quirked up into an obviously smothered smile, and she spun back to have me face Uchiha Sasuke. I froze as I met his equally surprised eyes, not sure what to do. I strained my neck to look back at the lady, wanting directions.

My neck wasn't nearly as strong to be turning like that, so I stopped in worry that I made break it.

Did she want me to show affection or something? I wanted to pull a face, but I moved my hands to make a grabbing motion towards him instead. God knows this boy probably needs some practice, just in case he finally gets his daughter.

I heard the lady - _Karin, I reminded myself -_ say something to him, something I noticed had his name in it, so she was probably telling him that I wanted him to pick me up.

He did.

It was a bit awkward, kind of obvious that he wasn't as used to picking up babies as he probably would've wanted and considering the fact that he only had one arm, but he made it work.

I clenched a hand in the fabric of his shirt. It was warm. Comfy, even. I noted absently that even though he was usually portrayed as a bit cold, he was strangely warm. Could that be attributed to his fire nature?

Kind of a morbid thought but, would all Uchihas be this warm if they were alive today?

And that was the last thought I had before I blacked out.

* * *

Man, I'm so pissed off.

I told myself that for the fifth time, watching the ceiling blankly as another woman who I quickly realized was Sakura moved around the room. She was walking a bit slowly, but I didn't think much of it.

There was nothing to do. Nothing at all.

It's been a little over two weeks or something since I gained consciousness.

And I'm pissed off because that's all I can do.

When I had that thought I got even more pissed off.

I ended up crying out of anger.

Sakura leaned worriedly over me, gently wiping my tears away before she decided to pick me up. For some strange reason, my temper vanished, and my tears stopped pouring after a few seconds in her arms. She's a queen, that's probably why. It goes against every fibre of my being to cause too much trouble for a queen.

Sakura rubbed my back a few times before she pulled back to look at me. She had a prideful smile on. She looks happy. Proud of herself maybe? Still, I felt giddy and warm at the sight of it, so I laughed and babbled nonsense at her.

Come to think of it, why was she here? I didn't mind, but I thought that she'd already given birth by this time, so she would've been in Konoha already. Did something change?

That train of thought was cut off when Sakura kissed my forehead and sighed happily, cuddling me. Aw, that's cute. I felt happy too, knowing that me being here made her happy. She deserved the best—

Sakura said something, and it took me awhile to decipher but eventually I understood.

"The only thing that would make me happier is if you called me Mom.."

—So the best she would get.

"Maaa—" The pink haired woman hummed in response, before she pulled back again to look at me with wide and delighted eyes. "Can you say that again? Please?" I smiled at how expectant she looked.

"Mama!" With that, she burst into joy, spinning with me raised above her head and bouncing around the room. "You called?" She cooed with a bright smile, and I couldn't help but squeal at her silly face.

Augh. That's. That's so adorable. God damn.

If it were up to me, she and Sasuke would've never gone almost a decade not talking to each other. She deserves way better than that. Ugh. If it were up to me, she would've never had to look perpetually exhausted in every panel she was in.

She's too good for that.

The woman I absolutely adored peppered my face with kisses and just continuously showered me with affection as I kept calling her by her preferred title. I just leaned into every squeeze she gave me and squealed whenever she tickled me.

In my last life, I would've never let anyone do this sort of thing to me. I was too awkward and uncomfortable around any display of affection, and my childhood hadn't been the best one a child could've been given, so I was always in a state of some form of paranoia. Paranoia that, was too much for any partner I worked up the courage to have. Heartbreaking, always is and was, but I learnt to eventually just keep those sorts of things to myself.

I learnt to keep any serious companionship to a minimum, because as a core member of a group working against the government, it wouldn't always be safe for anyone associated with the group I was in. Especially because publically, we were painted as terrorists. And we couldn't risk any attempts on our lives, so we never explicitly trusted anyone.

Lonely, kind of. But it had been necessary.

I took to the single life like a champ though, that's for sure.

Maybe in this life I'll be able to settle down, but I'm only nearly six months old, I think. How did my thoughts get so derailed? I'm a baby, I'm not supposed to think about how touch starved I actually am or how our occupation as 'terrorists' didn't leave a lot of options open for pleasure or partners and how you were considered lucky if you found someone to spend your life with _in_ the group. No. Nuh-uh.

Steering the wheel back to less depressing thoughts. If I linger too long I'll brood.

As if she knew that I needed a good distraction from my sad, sad train of thought, Sakura cooed at me, smoothing a hand over my head. I felt the few hairs I had shift, and I turned my attention to her. Her pretty green eyes were concerned, and I think that maybe I already was brooding on the outside. Oops.

She was saying something.

"Do you think we'll be able to handle going out today?" Out? Outside? Come to think of it, I've never seen outside the only window in the room I was always situated in. Honestly, I think that's part shinobi instincts and just general common sense that had me placed in a location that wouldn't be easily seen through the window. If there was an attack, a baby would be easy pickings if someone saw it through the window. Especially since people could climb _walls _with just their feet.

Look Ma, no hands.

I made some strange noise that I think was a cross between a happy gurgle (how does that even work?) and a giggle. I also think that Sakura took that as a yes because the prettiest smile bloomed on her face and she went on to get me ready for... The outside world, I guess.

* * *

We were in Konoha.

We were in _Konoha._

At first I was occupied with staring at the mugs of each Hokage looking down at us like some sort of guardians, and I was thinking that; Hey, was Hashirama's hair that ugly in canon?

(The answer was no. It wasn't. They just had shitty artists.)

Hiruzen's face actually looked young and not wizened by age like we usually saw him in the series. My heart leapt to my throat when I saw Kakashi's old mug and I wanted to squeal from residue fangirl admiration because I realized that I would see him sooner or later.

Before I finally _realized_.

We were in _Konoha._

I felt the stirrings of some unease happen in my gut. _Where was Sarada?_

I startled when I got jostled by a passerby that almost ran into Sakura. They both apologized and laughed it off, waving to each other as the other, presumably, shinobi that knew her ran off. A colleague? That would be obvious enough with how familiar they acted.

And what was I thinking about awhile ago?

Sakura was taking us somewhere, sometimes pausing whenever I let my eyes linger on something and explaining what it was, which I didn't mind. I found it nice and endearing that she was taking the time to fully explain some stuff. Something that caretakers neglect to do and prefer to let their children figure things out on their own. Just from that, I could tell that she'd be a pretty hands-on parent.

She paused again, this time outside a ramen restaurant that I was very, very interested in.

I never had the chance to eat a lot of actual ramen, but I was of the firm opinion that it was absolutely heavenly, and people deserved to at least have a bowl or three.

Which, my opinion may or may not have been influenced by my love for Naruto. Still, didn't change the fact that it was good.

As I stared hard at the restaurant, I heard a boisterous voice. Sakura heard it too, and turned to face the direction it came from.

Blond hair, blue eyes. And absolutely eye-searing orange pants.

Oh my god. Just as I was thinking about him too!

* * *

_as you can tell, this si-oc is an avid fan of ramen - like me kind of, bless._

_Read & Review!_


	3. Chapter 2

_*a guest asked a question that stood out to me_

_*i wasn't actually planning on responding until i got past chapter 5 or smth but i changed my mind because they said please :')_

_*__yep, sarada and oc are kids to both sasuke and sakura. no cheating to be seen here. karin was there to help sakura with the birth and that's all i can say. in the future i'm going to make things clear for chapter 1 and the prologue so don't worry._

* * *

One thing I noticed about the world around me during my two weeks being awake— was that not once did it seem unnatural, with the exception of a few things like how these people jump off roofs daily in a way that back in my world would be considered batshit insane, or how impossibly colorful their color palettes sometimes were.

Everything else looked fine. It looked real, from the shape of their eyes to their noses to how veins and muscles shifted and became more visible, to the wood and water, the little dust specks in the corner of my eyes.

Blonde hair, blue eyes. And absolutely eye-searing orange pants.

It didn't surprise me as much as seeing actual red hair and actual pink hair like Karin's and Sakura's, but his eyes seemed to hold the whole damn sky from where I was.

I wanted to squint against the light his given colors gave off. Which I did as he bounced over to Sakura and I. He'd called out for her when he spotted her and probably wanted to eat ramen too if the way it looked like his eyes lingered on the the ramen restaurant was any indication.

His hair was a lot shorter than in Shippuden and I don't know how to feel about that.

Holy shit. I'm just now realizing— when I'm old enough to buy him stuff for his birthdays or just a little gift I can get him anti-balding cream! Or, or I could drag him to a barber that would know what to do to fix the disaster that is and would be Naruto's post-Shippuden hairstyle!

I have no clue how that would go over but I'll resolve to do that as soon as I am able. Perhaps we can prevent it getting as bad as it did in Boruto.

I am a fucking genius.

That would be one tally for the good deeds I've done for the universe.

I shook myself from my thoughts of heroism, blinking when I realized that we somehow relocated nearer towards the restaurant as they talked, presumably because there were people who needed to go somewhere and they probably wouldn't appreciate it if we blocked the way. Well, if these two blocked the way. I'm just a baby, I can't do shit.

I looked up at the blond in front of us, squinting when his grin threatened to become a little too bright when his eyes met mine. He snickered. What's so funny? With a fond look in his eye, he mutters under a giggle.

"Definitely the asshole's child."

Oooh, the very personification of sunshine called someone an asshole? Who is apparently my parent?

I had no doubts that if I could see myself, I would probably see some form of glee on my face. I was that curious.

Who has he canonically called insults with such casual fondness—?

_Oh._

Mercilessly, I squashed that thought and pictured ripping a page out of a book with that very thought on it and setting it on fire. I pictured grinding the ashes with my foot for safe measure. I repeated the imagery several times before I finally forgot what exactly I'd been thinking about as I continued to give Naruto one long, slightly judgemental squint.

I dare you to try and give me another existential crisis. I dare you.

He pouted at me and said something to Sakura, his lips twitching and betraying the fact that he probably wanted to laugh.

Still though, that pout is devastating and I bet that if they weren't currently in an era of peace between nations I bet that it could be weaponized.

It felt like Sakura was rolling her eyes as she shifted her grip on me to lightly punch Naruto on the shoulder, which probably wasn't as light as it looked because he rubbed his shoulder when she pulled away and his pout became more pronounced. By that time I decided to focus my thoughts on making some inner monologue and looked around, choosing to observe our surroundings for a bit.

There were some people that stood out right away. Like a teen that looked like he could be related to Shikamaru, a child with a dog and what looked like red triangles on his? her? cheeks, and some others that were wearing flak jackets. I'm kind of surprised that there aren't more shinobi out this time of day, but maybe they're cooped up somewhere doing paperwork or something.

But the child stood out to me for obvious reasons i.e. the dog.

I continued to stare unendingly at the kid and dog as they seemed to be talking to each other as they skipped. Man, I wish I could communicate with dogs too. I wonder if I met Kakashi will he let me spend an hour or so talking to his ninken? Pet therapy is very helpful and cute and with all the minor attacks I've been getting I probably need it.

With a lot of reluctance, I forced myself to turn back my attention to the duo that had continued chatting, and I realized that we relocated to inside the ramen restaurant this time.

Sakura, this is cruel treatment. How could you? I'm only a baby, I won't be able to eat anything in this place, not even ramen.

It smells delicious and it feels like torture knowing that I can't eat this shit.

Because I'm a baby.

My previous anger at the fact that I was too small to be able to do anything came back with a vengeance. I ignored how I felt Sakura fret with some bemusement and worry over me when I scowled at the lovely red tables and counter and warm atmosphere. I heard Naruto laugh again and I gave him a scowl too.

"She wants ramen!"

"You idiot! She's a baby, there's no way that's possible and she's not even allowed to eat it yet!" Yet.

Ugh. Yet. She's right and no matter how much it makes me mad, I need to be more patient. There's a reason why I can't do anything and it's because my baby body can't handle it yet. I furrowed my eyebrows and I knew I unwillingly made a pout instead of the fearsome, intimidating glare that I had when I was an adult.

I seethed as quietly as possible, huffing as Naruto and Sakura lost the edge of concern in their stances and traded grins and laughter at my expression. Laugh all you want, once I grow up you'll be cowering in your seats when I make this same exact face.

_Well, maybe not Sakura_. I amended with a glance at said woman. I would probably never be able to do that to her. Guess Naruto would have to do. Or anyone else who'd just about tremble before my greatness actually, thanks.

* * *

The next time I fucking trust a table is the last time I fucking breathe.

What happened, you might ask?

A week or month later— I'm not so sure— after meeting Naruto, I decided that since I was already about six months old I could try my hand at walking or crawling. Or well, try my feet at it, I guess. It proved to be impossible to get my goddamn feet to so much as twitch.

Which begged the question, am I crippled?

No, no I am not. With conscious effort, it was difficult to move my feet and legs, but whenever I forgot I couldn't walk right now and wanted to get something out of reach, I'd easily get on my knees and crawl to get it. It was subconscious.

Which was not what I wanted. I wanted to be able to kick someone right in the face whenever I wanted. Not whenever I forgot I was a literal child. Goddammit.

Fortunately, the next time Sakura had to leave for awhile, she left me in the living room, which also left me with numerous things I could use to help myself stand up.

Like the coffee table.

Which leaves me here. With it toppled over and one of the legs digging into one of mine. It was through only sheer willpower I didn't immediately scream in pain when the table fell on me while I was celebrating the fact that I was able to stand up for a few seconds, even if it was with a bit of help.

I could feel the tears streaming down my face and it felt absolutely disgusting because the part of the carpet I laid on felt soaked already. It felt like I had snot running down my nose too and I'm fucking seething because this table had the gall to make me cry and look uncool.

What I couldn't do right now though, was lift the table and get it the fuck off me. It's too goddamn heavy and oh my god this shit hurts more than I remember it to be-

—if I was an adult and experienced this same exact thing of course it'd be painful but I would've immediately gotten up and shit, this is comparable to that time I got stabbed clean in the side with a goddamned_ practice sword—_

I felt a rush of air and the table was shoved off me. Through my tears and blurry eyesight and no doubt ugly ass snot-filled expression of absolute agony, I saw pink and red, which made me start another round of crying. _Oh thank god, there's a Sakura._ Thank _god_.

The best darn medic to have ever existed is here and when she finally gives birth I'm going to gradually insert myself into their lives and take Sauce's place and make them the happiest fucking family to ever be a family and and—

Throughout my slowly calming hysteria and pain, I felt a cool sensation rush over the point on my leg where the table had been digging into. I think it was my ankle, I'm not entirely sure, but by the time I cared enough to check where exactly, there was nothing to show for the incident.

When I had the mind to wipe my sticky (ew) face and tears with my chubby hands, I almost cried again when I felt something mildly wet and soft like a towel against my face. Oh god, what did I do to deserve an angel like Sakura as my caretaker, honestly.

I stayed still as she wiped my face and eventually started brushing her other hand over my head, shushing me and bringing me into a comforting hug.

I think that incident made the both of us a bit scarred for life, because I started avoiding tables for awhile, and when I checked on the one that fell on me, I noticed it was baby-proofed. All of the furniture were. And Sakura started bringing me along every time she went out.

Though, maybe I should've realized she'd been working at the hospital all this time.

* * *

Surprisingly enough, it didn't look like the hospital was teeming with patients nor did it look like the staff were overworked.

Well, not too overworked. I'm pretty sure I saw the other medic manning the reception pour what looked like an energy drink into a tall cup of coffee and down it in one go. Are, are they even allowed to do that?

Sakura had me in a baby sling as she strutted through the building and I had half the mind to try and hop out because I wanted to see if more medics would do that kind of thing too. It looked funny and I needed to laugh, I'm still a bit miffed that a table managed to one up me.

This time, Sakura wasn't pausing to explain something to me whenever we passed things and rooms I didn't recognize. It kind of looks like she's in a bit of a hurry, actually. Which is making me a little concerned because surely it's a patient that needs her attention? I have no idea why she thought to still bring me along if she's in a haste because a patient is presumably in critical condition...or something.

Turns out it was a patient. Just, not one that's in critical condition.

Just a really, really stubborn one that I really don't regret meeting.

"Say hello to Gai-sensei, sweetie."

With those words, I was treated to the most eye-blinding grin I have ever encountered in both my lifetimes. Brighter than Naruto's, and that's saying something.

I heard Sakura fuss over the man as he tried to move to peer at me a little better. It included some thinly veiled threats and chiding and mother-henning. I observed Gai as he started to talk about how proud and honored he was that he was finally able to see 'the baby'.

Wonder what that's about.

With how a lot of the characters in the show reacted with disgust or some form of discomfort, you'd think he was just plain weird and would quite possibly make you feel the same way too. But in truth he was actually...really nice? He had a nice smile, the kind that made you want to smile back, he had nice hair that—

Is kind of making me distracted because of how glossy and healthy it is—

He seems so earnest and sincere too? I might not be the best judge of character, but he seems like the sort of person to gain an okay in my books, so I beamed back at him.

I feel like he took that as a challenge or just got happier because he grinned brighter than the goddamn sun when he saw my expression. I ended up squinting my eyes against the force of it— did he cast an illusion or did the sun just seriously aim all its rays towards him? Sun, stop. It's too bright in this room.

Gai let out a booming laugh as I tried to wave the light away. I heard Sakura smother a giggle of her own and I perked up, turning my head to look at her. I feel like she took that as a request to let Gai hold me, because she passed me to him and started to putter around the hospital room.

He... His hold was a lot more confident than how I remember Sasuke's, and I thanked whatever being was up there for his experience. I don't think I could stand another awkward fest like a cuddle with Uchiha Sasuke now that I'm a lot more conscious than before.

"Hello, young Kaeno!"

Kaeno?

I'm hoping that this name, presumably my name, isn't as lame in its meaning as _bolt_ or _salad_.

I twitch at that particular thought. Okay, that might have been a little unfair. No one ever taught Sasuke or Naruto to give children proper names— I think.

Huh. I don't really remember if it's fact or not, but thinking about it, maybe Naruto inherited his dad's shitty naming sense? My thoughts stray to that one fanfic I read where Kurama and Minato are friends. Where they apparently bet on numerous things for the right to name Minato's next jutsu or technique etc.

Ah. That was a good fanfic. It wasn't even finished when I died.

Oh god.

I feel tears well up in my eyes and I curse my baby level lack of self-control as I start to grasp for Gai's straight black hair. I catch a few locks and sniffle, unintentionally tugging at them.

_Come to think of it, maybe he really did inherit his dad's naming sense?_ Some distant part of me thinks through my tears, feeling a gurgle or a wail bubble up in my throat.

He did name his jutsu, _Sexy-no-Jutsu_.

Surprisingly, that cheered me up a significant amount, and my fat tears receded, revealing a concerned Gai and hovering Sakura.

I stare at them blankly, they stare back with relief and joy.

The atmosphere's getting kind of awkward so I babble at the loudest volume I can manage, slapping at Gai's arms and turning my nose up at them. I felt myself die inside with every noise I made so at the very least they should laugh.

And laugh they do. It makes me warm knowing I made someone happy.

Ah, ew. Mushy thoughts begone.

Our visit to Gai was wrapped up nicely. Sakura had to spend a few more minutes telling him off, and he grinned brightly at her.

"Do not worry! Even if I am unable to walk as well as I used to, I am still a formidable opponent!" he laughs, before saying his thanks and that next time he would at least give a word of warning when he decides to break out again.

That practically radiated chaotic good energy.

When I get older, I'm going to get him to train me. I'm thoroughly convinced that he's the best even though I would probably die from choking the moment I try his training regime.

* * *

_this sets up the stage for kaeno's future actions. i'm still only introducing people who i know i want to have a role in her upbringing tho. think of this as part of the daily life arc._

_and apparently i shouldn't have underestimated school's ability to get in the way of my personal interests and my ambition of finishing my self indulgent stories if it's the last thing i do,_

**_Read and Review!_**


	4. Chapter 3

I hit my hand against the table repeatedly, making the utensils shake and rattle quietly with every tap, tap of my wrist.

Sakura's out for a while, and I'm dwelling in thoughts of death and destruction as I await her return.

It's been more than a year, or two, I don't know. I'm not quite sure, the only thing that helps me keep track of time is my growth progress and even then I can't really tell. I have not seen hair nor hide of anyone who could be my parent, and I'm thinking that it's either they're dead or are shitty parents. Or maybe both.

Since all I've seen for months is Sakura— who's an absolute angel by the way— I'm presuming that they're dead and she took me in. Did she know them? Are we relatives, even? I have so many questions, but I don't have any answers to them right now.

I do something that kind of sounds like a cross between a gurgle and a puppy's growl.

I end up crossing my arms on the table and burying my head in it in shame. It sounds like satan's asshole just farted— ugh!

I _need_ to get a bigger grasp on my vocals. How am I supposed to sing like this?! How am I supposed to talk to people properly if every few seconds where I want to make a noise to punctuate my point, I end up with something that sounds like a donkey with a revving chainsaw up its ass?!

I want to cry.

This is so humiliating.

I stifle the pained embarrassed groan that I can feel clawing it's way through my throat. I _know_ that I'm going to sound shameful if I let any noise that's not baby babble or baby giggles out of my mouth.

As I calm down from my red-faced embarrassment, I backtrack on what I just thought about and giggle.

Donkey with a revving chainsaw up its ass. Hah.

I'm a drama queen and I would fit right in with the Uchiha clan with their penchant for drama and woe-is-me attitude, given that it's portrayed light-heartedly with little to no angst that is.

But since they're Uchiha there's bound to be angst, so. Irrelevant.

I hear a door open and I perk up. Sakura's back! I hear her lively voice call out, "I'm home!" and I babble as loudly as I can in response to her.

Sakura, next time please leave me something to entertain myself with, I don't think I like thinking about humiliating moments whenever you're not there—

There's someone with her?

I quiet, my unfortunate habit of becoming silent whenever someone I'm not familiar with makes their appearance.

I want to lean out and strain my neck to see who else is there, but I don't think I'm able to do that, much less supposed to do that. I don't know. I'm a fragile baby, I'm nervous about accidentally killing myself with my recklessness.

I hear murmurs from both Sakura and the stranger.

Vaguely, I hear the pink-haired angel sound like she's threatening the newcomer. So, she's familiar with them? Or she thinks this person is a threat— but if they were, then she wouldn't even be bringing them to where I am. Sakura's just that good of a caretaker.

I hear shuffling that sounds intentional, before Sakura pops her head into the room and grins at me. I wave at her, babbling, and she wags her fingers at me in response, before she enters and a figure appears behind her.

Ah?

What?

Isn't that Sasuke?

I give Sakura a look that I'd like to believe says everything I'd like to say, and I gurgle at her. Sound #8, I'm very confused and befuddled but I will be giving you time to explain yourself.

She either ignores or doesn't notice the look I give her, because she scoops me up and presses me close to her— snuggles galore! Sakura's hair always smells nice, like something fruity. I love fruit.

I blink when I realize that Sakura distracted me from the current topic.

I blow a raspberry at her for it and she giggles— _that's so cute,_ and sticks her tongue out at me to do the same. Ack, Sakura. Please.

To stop my heart from failing, I focus on the man behind her. He's unexpectedly intent in his stare and, I think I just saw a flash of red right before I looked at him. Was that the Sharingan? Was he ingraining this moment in his memory or was he trying to do something else? I have no idea, but probably the former.

Because Sakura and him are (most likely) involved at this time, duh. And Naruto would kick his ass if he did anything.

He meets my eye steadily, something shockingly soft and unguarded in his gaze, before Sakura turns around to face him and I end up looking at the wall.

What— what was _that?_

There's something in my chest that's warm and fuzzy at how open Sasuke looked at that moment. Pride? Maybe. These people have come so far and I want to just celebrate it— even if I fucking hate the next generation.

People really do deteriorate when they have kids, jeez. I thought it was total bullshit back then because I loved kids and they were always so polite and amusing, but I saw what happened to one of my former colleagues.

I still love kids though, because they love me. Just— not _that_ generation.

I squirm in Sakura's arms and repeatedly try to twist my head to have a better look before she finally takes the hint and adjusts me so that I can see the— only remaining Uchiha holy shit.

Must be lonely.

Now I feel sad.

So the moment I make eye contact with him again, I squeal and reach my hands out in the universal motion of 'pick-me-up'.

I can feel both of their surprise, and for some reason Sasuke is more obvious to me.

Sakura who holds me smiles gently, looking between me and Sasuke, then she moves closer to him, leaning forward to have him take me.

I hear her say, "It seems impossible, but it looks like she recognizes you." and Sasuke blinks then there's a small crease between his eyebrows. Hell yeah I do.

Sakura huffs at him in what sounds like exasperation and urges him on. "You can do it!"

"Come on, take her, she's waiting you know?"

That's what makes Uchiha Sasuke stiffly raise his arms to have Sakura transfer me into them. It's as stiff as the day I first met him, but it's still as warm as ever.

It feels like rain won't even touch me in his arms, and it's a nice feeling.

Just to mess with him, I pap him everywhere I can reach, grinning at him all the while. I hear Sakura's quiet laughter from behind me when I suddenly slap a whole ass baby palm on his nose, relishing the dumbfounded look I find on his face.

I pap him on his cheeks, his shoulders, his entire face, before I reach his forehead, feeling like it's supposed to mean something.

I gently pat it several times before I realize what it was.

Oh my god, Itachi.

I pause and look at him, surprised to see the soft and unguarded look I saw awhile ago. He looks almost vulnerable, with that look.

I can see a moment where it looks like he remembers something painful, because his eyes flash and tremble the same way everyone else does when they do.

And then there's a sense of wonder and curiosity in his eyes, and something heavy swells in my chest.

This Sasuke is—

A light flashes, startling me but not the man (of course), and I whip around to see that Sakura's carrying a camera, smiling brightly.

"Get rid of that photo." A smooth and deep voice in my ear cuts through the air, giving me goosebumps.

Wait, that was Sasuke?

That's the first time I've heard him speak!

Sakura gives him a flat look, impressively unimpressed. "No way."

"Sakura,"

"No!"

"Sakura."

"Sasuke—"

Sakura stops short and they sigh at the same time, with me having absolutely no idea what their dynamic is. It looked like they were about to argue for a second there, but then Sakura glanced at me and stopped.

It's, pretty blurry. I can't tell if they're just friends or a couple.

What if they're just friends? Will Sarada still be there?

A stone in my gut settles and stays there for the rest of the day.

* * *

So, recently, I realized that I could talk properly.

How? Funny story actually. Sakura took me to another of her trips to the hospital and we were just going around, she was doing her rounds and I was messing shit up.

Kind of.

She put me down for a moment on a table cleared of any equipment or anything except for my baby bottle, which was nearly empty of milk, because I'm a good girl and I love milk.

Anyway, I was sitting up weirdly and I felt uncomfortable about not having anything to hold, so I went for the bottle. It was the only thing there and I didn't think Sakura would mind if I did another good girl moment by drinking my milk myself.

Except that I was a baby with smol hands and shitty hand-eye coordination, and the bottle was apparently only fit for adult sized hands.

And I reached out for the thing with only One Hand.

I ended up pushing it off the table and making a mess when the baby bottle popped open upon impact with the floor and spilled the rest of the milk.

"Shit!"

That was what I said, the end.

Sakura came rushing at the sound of something falling and looked relieved and exasperated to see that I wasn't the one that fell and instead it was the bottle.

I am so, so happy that I said it in English.

After that, the following days I made baby babble in the form of English with no one the wiser. I only ever talked in front of Sakura though, since she always looks amused and her eyes always glittered in a pretty way whenever I did.

I also found out that I am really, utterly, severely late in progress.

Because of my paranoia and unwillingness to take risks after that fucking _Table Incident_, I never tried standing up again.

Until Sakura put me down on my feet with unhesitating confidence. She had this knowing and proud smile on her face when she looked me over, nodding, and saw that I wasn't falling over even though I was frozen with shock.

I ended up crying out of relief and joy that I could stand up again.

Talk about embarrassing.

I honestly have no idea why Sakura thought I could already stand up with confidence, but I'm guessing it's a medic thing. Knowing the development of bodies and stuff.

I was probably really late in the walking stage and Sakura got impatient.

"Kae-chan?" I looked up from my paper and crayons when I heard my name being called.

"Mama!"

"Hello," She laughed as I waved my arms at her, and I felt myself warm up inside at the motherly picture she made. God, I have no idea why Sarada wasn't a mommy's girl, this woman popped her out and raised her for a decade and more! With no father around whatsoever!

I wanted to scowl at how I just inadvertently ruined my own mood, but I put on a big, big smile on my face just for Sakura.

I staggered to my feet and launched myself at the pink haired angel, giggling when she caught me with no problem. Her hair was a little ruffled in the ponytail it was in, and I could see how her smile looked tired.

I felt a dash of concern for her before she leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

I looked up at her, feeling light and happy. She sighed like she was in heaven and gave me a sweet, gentle turn of the lips.

"You're turning four soon, did you know that?"

I blink at her in surprise.

It's been that long?

"And your Papa is going to be home a week before too! Everyone's going to greet you happy birthday."

Ooooh, would that include the rest of the cast? Hah, who am I kidding. Probably not. Though I do want to see them all grown up...

She brushes some loose strands of my hair back.

I've never actually seen myself in full glory, since I've never had the opportunity to look in the mirror, but I wasn't even that interested in my appearance.

I could see that I had black and mildly wavy hair, like before, before I'd dyed it auburn by mistake back then because the labels were completely inaccurate— I'm still mad about that but it turned out great so I didn't mind that much, but still.

I almost always had my hair tied back because it was a hassle to keep brushing back it's length and I never had the courage to cut it beyond a trim. Right now I can tell that it's going to be the same here.

It's honestly kind of weird to realize that I've never seen myself before.

But, yeah.

Why am I doing a monologue—?

Wait, hold on, back the fuck up.

My _Papa?_

* * *

_—and_ cut.

_even during christmas break and new year's i had a slew of homework to finish and group projects to prepare for so i didnt have the time to update :(_

_and now tomorrow's valentines! and also the deadline for submitting the poems for club hahah_

_fuck_

_but yeah anyway, with the procrastinating i've been doing i've had tons of time to finally finish this chapter— i had a hard time tho, and i didnt feel that satisfied with it so i might go back to edit some parts._

_we're finally getting closer to kaeno crying for a week straight because denial can only go so far before the issue punches you in the face lol_

**_Read and Review!_**


End file.
